Why Prep

Dear Sandia Prep Community, 

Happy summer! I hope you are all enjoying June and will have some time to relax with family and friends. As you likely know by now, I’m a huge believer in the power of relationships and think that our connections with others is what makes our lives particularly meaningful. And that is why I love Sandia Prep - the relationships forged among our students, faculty and staff, and families are at the heart of everything we do, and they are a foundation upon which our stellar program is built.

This was never more clear than in the final weeks of the year. I was honored to receive the first yearbook and to watch our seniors as they laughed and teared up while watching the video that the yearbook team made. And then to hear about the amazing Senior Week that our wonderful parents organized - the amount of time and energy that went into putting that all together demonstrates the love our families have not just for their own children but for their children’s classmates. Finally, the graduation ceremony that includes statements written by every graduate perfectly encapsulates the value our school places on our students’ voices. They are not viewed as empty vessels for our teachers to fill with information. Instead, they are thoughtful, motivated, proactive young adults who are ready for the next steps in their journeys. I was happy to send them off with some parting words that I am happy to share below. Enjoy!

All the best,

Heather

Sorry, Sonya, but first, you all have to listen to me. [In reference to the student speaker saying it was time to get diplomas.] I have to say this is a pretty powerful feeling - I’m the only thing standing between you and your diplomas. And, you may not know this about me, but I love giving a good, long speech. 

Just kidding, I will make this (relatively) quick. But, I do have some words for you that I hope you will find meaningful as you reflect on your time here at Prep and valuable as you look forward to your future.

First, I would like to thank all of you for being here today: families, faculty, and, of course, students. This is an important day for you, the Class of 2023. Graduating from high school is a huge milestone, and you should congratulate yourselves on getting this far. 

I know it is easy to move on to the next thing and begin planning your future, but let’s take a moment to look back on the last seven years. Collectively, you have completed approximately 497 years of school here at Sandia Prep. That adds up to about 89,460 school days. And while I love thinking and talking about numbers, I don’t think you can quantify what you have learned, how you have grown, and what you have accomplished in the last seven years. 

In Chip and Dan Heath’s book The Power of Moments, the authors state that our most favorable positive moments are dominated by four elements: elevation, insight, pride, and connection. As you reflect back on your time at Prep, I’d venture to guess that you can come up with countless moments that fit into these categories. Moments of elevation when you performed on stage, won a championship game, or came together at the final bell a few weeks ago. Moments of insight, those “aha moments” when you “tripped over the truth” and discovered something new - finally understanding a math problem, figuring out how a complicated guitar solo works, or crafting the perfect argument in a debate. Moments of pride, when you got to see how your hard work paid off - sharing an art piece with a grandparent, performing a speech for the entire student body, acing a tough exam, or sitting here in front of me right now, ready to graduate. But the most important type of moments and, what really makes Prep a special place, are the moments of connection.

In the weeks after spring vacation, Dr. Chalfoun and I met with many of you over lunch to talk about your time at the school, and I am so grateful to you for sharing your experiences with me. What you shared confirmed what I believed from my short time at Prep: relationships are at the core of this place. At the end of each lunch, I asked you to write on an index card the name of the faculty or staff member who had had the most impact on you, and, in the 66 responses I received, you wrote down 37 different teachers’ names. This, to me, is huge. Many schools have that one “Dead Poets Society” teacher who stands on desks reciting poetry and inspires us all amidst a sea of drabness and drudgery. But at Prep, each one of you has found your own inspirational teacher, your person (and, truly, more than one person) who gets you, who cares about you, and who will do what it takes to help you succeed. Developmental psychologist Urie Bronfenbrenner said, “Every child needs at least one adult who is crazy about them.” You all are blessed to have multiple adults who are crazy about you - your families, of course - that goes without saying. And, as Tatiana said, you also have your Prep family.

So as you look to your future, remember these moments of connection and never underestimate the power of strong relationships.  In his book The Social Animal, David Brooks writes, “When we sense another’s joy, we begin to share that person’s laughter as if it were our own.  When we see agony…that agony is reflected in our brains…as if it were our own.”  In other words, the people we connect with - our families, our teachers, our friends - really do feel what we feel and want to help us.  They are on our side.  If you can surround yourself with people with whom you truly connect, you will feel ready to take on the world.

In fact, you are already ready to take on the world. Prep truly has “prepped” you for this, focusing on how to think, not what to think. In my conversations with you, I’ve been consistently impressed with the questions you ask, the curiosity you demonstrate and the conviction you display when sharing your ideas. This critical thinking will help you tremendously as you move through life and are faced with myriad challenges and decisions.

Speaking of decisions, I’m currently reading the book Thinking in Bets by Annie Duke. Duke is a former World Series of Poker champion and thus is somewhat of an expert in this area. Now don’t worry, parents, I’m not encouraging your children to abandon their college plans and instead hit the tables in Vegas (though I heard Katie was pretty good at the poker table during the Senior Week casino night!). But Duke provides some interesting insights around decision-making, encouraging us to look at all decisions as bets. The definition of a bet is much broader than you might imagine - it is defined as a choice made based on the belief that something will happen. When you think about it, this really is true of all decisions. When I decide to order a breakfast burrito over pancakes, I believe that a savory meal will hit the spot more directly than a sweet one. When you were choosing your next steps after graduation, you envisioned the different outcomes that might occur based on different choices and ultimately made a bet, hoping that your choice would produce the most favorable outcome. Annie Duke provides tips on how to make thoughtful, deliberate decisions. But she also does something else. She reminds us that a lot of life, just like poker, is unpredictable. Perhaps the eggs in my breakfast burrito were undercooked, and I got sick (of course, this hypothetical burrito was NOT made here at Prep - that would never happen here). That doesn’t mean my decision was a bad one, just that the result was. 

All this is to say, I’m not advocating for throwing your hands up and letting fate take you where it may. But I am saying, don’t put too much pressure on yourself when things go awry - because they will go awry. We have very little control over much of our lives, and bad things will happen to all of us. But we do have control over how we respond. We can choose to suffer and complain, or we can choose to appreciate these precious lives we are living. We can choose to create those moments I spoke of earlier and live our lives with gusto.

Back in August, when we were on the senior trip, Ms. Plath gave each of you a leaf and shared with you a lovely piece of writing by John Green entitled “Sycamore Trees.” The essay ends with this: “But for now, I’m just looking up at that tree, thinking about how it turned air and water and sunshine into wood and bark and leaves, and I realize that I am in the vast, dark shade of this immense tree. I feel the solace of that shade, the relief it provides. And that’s the point.” Ms. Plath reminded you that we here at Prep are that tree for you, providing strength and protection.

So today, I want you to take the time to celebrate yourselves.  Celebrate your families, your friendships, and your memories.  Tomorrow, go out and live every moment with passion and meaning.  And remember, just like the sycamore tree, Prep is here for you, always, breakfast burrito in hand.